[Edit: Happy April Fool’s Day!] E-books are the way of the future – so why not turn those dust-collectors on your shelf into warmth? Book burning has been stigmatized, but the fact of the matter is, burning books can be the most useful thing you do with them. Besides, Project Gutenberg and your public library offer e-books for free! Never buy a paper volume again, and make sure your old collection goes up in smoke. Your new shelf space will thank you.
Hosting a barbecue, and need something to start the flames? A few pages from Fahrenheit 451 ought to get that fire started! Camping, and the wood is a little damp? Throw some pages atop the kindling; Cheryl Strayed did it! Don’t worry about people criticizing your behaviour – they are merely Luddites resisting the future of reading technology.
I realize that not everyone will understand the sense of this suggestion, but on today of all days, I suggest you give it a try before you judge.